Learning to Embrace Struggles Rather Than Avoiding Them

I’ve dreamed of earning an advanced education for as long as I can remember. I also pictured myself well-dressed, with my nose in a book, feeling confident and wise. Sometimes I do experience that, but more often, I find myself trying not to get ahead of myself and not letting feelings of “overwhelm” consume me.

I talked about that in my latest segment on Great Day Louisiana earlier this week!

Earlier this week, during a conversation with my budget and financial management professor, I reflected on struggles and how they affect our lives. This course has been one of the most challenging for me, yet when I thought about why, I realized it’s because I psyched myself out before I even opened the book.

My doctoral program requires me to take a budget and financial management course, which makes sense, even though I didn’t initially connect the dots. My cohort is filled with thought leaders. Many of us excel in developing frameworks and processes that will lead to healthier people and ultimately healthy communities.

I find satisfaction in building processes and streamlining them, making them scalable and beneficial even after I move on to the next project, but it’s naïve at best and foolish at worst, to fail to recognize how money drives all of it.

I started connecting the dots about the value of the course early in the semester, thankfully, so while the “language of finance” is unfamiliar to me, I’m learning it because I feel empowered by it.

For years I was so fearful of budgeting that I would have preferred for someone to just curse at me and walk away than ask me to discuss having a budget, but through a lot of patience, tears, and grace, I learned the value of knowing how much I had. I learned that when I knew where my money was going, I’d no longer have to fear having enough, and that realization changed my life.

Now I’m taking it to a new level because I want to confidently understand the dollars and cents behind programs that I hope to put into effect. I can confidently draft a pro forma and even use it correctly in a sentence, and that’s a big deal for me. I have a lot more to learn, but I’m actively doing it. I also want to note that I know a lot more about this than I realized I did before this course began.

I’ve spent so much of my life hoping to avoid struggle even though I’m keenly aware that growth happens in it. I’m embracing the “struggle” (in this case, to learn something new and have a better attitude about it) because I want to make the most out of every opportunity and do it with confidence.

This course has required a lot of work…seriously, so much reading and even more emotional fortitude, but it’s not supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be beneficial. I’ve cried a lot of tears and journaled a lot about this class because I don’t like feeling stupid, and that’s how I felt when it started.

But after my tears and recognition that I’m being a bit overdramatic, I take some deep breaths, read until my brain feels mushy, and then work on my assignments, and it’s been fine. My grades have been pretty good, and I’ve received helpful feedback from my professor, who’s on track to be my favorite professor ever.

Yes, it’s hard, but it’s making me stronger and more knowledgeable. Isn’t that kind of the point of earning a doctorate? Yeah, I suppose it is, and I’m okay with being a work in progress.